Thursday, August 14, 2014

The rest of those who have gone before us cannot steady the unrest of those to follow

"The rest of those who have gone before us cannot steady the unrest of those to follow." 

We all grieve for those that go before us and we all must cope with their loss in our own way.  In the case of suicide, some grieve by calling those people cowards and some grieve by saying they had a disease. Some of us just walk around stunned for the rest of our lives just not understanding or tying to figure it all out and some take up the quest to help those in need and become suicide prevention advocates.

When it is all said and done we all will follow a path that helps us get through this thing we know as life the best way we know how.

I posted this on Face Book several times: BE KIND… For everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about! Simple advice, yet so hard to follow through with as our ego’s get in the way and think we know what is best… especially for everyone else.

I cannot possibly understand what each and everyone of my friends or family go through when there is a loss or a tragedy that happens in their lives, even if I am standing right next to them as it happened.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, explains that “Quantum Moments” are moments that occur in your life that create a shift from an ego driven life to that of a spiritual awakening of one’s self. To me a “Quantum Moment” is one that you have that feels like it could have happened yesterday, whether it was painful or joyful it sticks with you and you find your life directed by it.

In the case of loss, one of my “Quantum Moments” in life was when my father died in our home with all of his family surrounding him. We all heard and saw his last breath. I heard his last heart beat, but I cannot presume to know what each and everyone in the room felt or how they have coped with that memory for the last 18 years… to me it was as if it happened yesterday and I grieve his loss every day, especially while I see my young son grow up without a grandfather who I am certain would have showered him with love.

The same can be said of the phone call I received the day I found out my friend Scott took his own life. I was numb with pain and have spent the last 6 years trying to understand. Again, I cannot presume to understand what his wife Teresa, his kids, Kara and Emily or any other family or close friend of Scott’s must feel. Nor can I tell them how they should feel or how they should have managed their lives since.

In the wake of the tragic death of Robin Williams... each and every one of us deals with life in the best way that we can. We may not agree on how the other person is dealing with it but for me, now more than ever, I feel as if compassion, understanding and forgiveness trump any other means of coping with loss, tragedy or just plain trying to get through the every day grind of life.

Health and Happiness!


Monday, May 5, 2014

Sometimes you just need a Spark!

I look at "Social Media" just about every day... there I said it!

But as you will read in upcoming blogs, I am going to making some shifts in my life that I have been thinking about for a long time... I just needed a spark to actually do them. This video gave me that spark. Thanks Gary Turk!

Sometimes you come across a good video on Facebook or Twitter and it makes you stop and think about your life, the way it looks and makes you want to change it... maybe just a little bit.

Now, I know when to put down the cell phone, turn off the TV or turn away from the computer and "Be" with those I love... I am not casting stones here. I have been guilty of keeping the cell phone close to check if a client contacted me or perhaps a look at a sports score or two. Go Tigers! But I pride myself on also being in the moment with my friends, family and clients. Read Three Questions!

I set out to write this blog to give people who read it a spark, thinking that by sharing my own experience it would do that. It has and again I am proud of that, but I needed a spark today to keep that going... perhaps that is why I woke up at 3am and saw this video!

See you soon... just not too soon.

Health and Happiness!


Monday, February 3, 2014

Your team lost or won the big game… What does it say about you?

Someone, somewhere is getting up today and has no idea about who won or lost the football game yesterday and they are unquestionably, no worse for wear because of the event.

What is it about sports and how we feel when our team wins or loses?

While I realize as a sports fan, the events should hold no bearing on my life personally, it is interesting to look back and watch how they effect my emotions.

I feel slighted and a little low even though I had nothing to do with the teams loss.

I hold my head a little higher and the sun seems to shine a little brighter even though I have nothing to do with the teams win.

Certainly they give me something to write about but the events do not make me a better Dad, Friend, Son, Brother, MAT Specialist or human being win or lose.

Health and Happiness!


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

God does not deliver you from the storm… He guides you through it!

I opened my life up yesterday to something very personal with the hope that someone, somewhere reads it and knows he or she is not alone out there in the storm.

When things are at their worst it may seem that the storm will never stop and there will always be something. Something stopping you from living the life you dream about, but you are not alone.

As one of my friends put it on Facebook yesterday… regarding my blog, "showing our vulnerability and eventual resilience is an important aspect of teaching others how to persevere"

I could look back at the last few months and ask why or I can get up today and just wonder and be amazed that I have a chance to do what I love to do and be with who I love to be with.

I love writing and I know that when I write, I feel better. But I also know that while I was not writing I was supposed to be where I was and for some reason, God only knows why, I needed to be doing what I was doing.

There will come a day when the light shines in your eyes and you will "Get back on the horse"!

Health and Happiness!


Tuesday, January 28, 2014

While I was away…

I sit here and ponder all that has happened since I stopped writing back in October of last year and I can tell you this, October 2013 through January 2014 kind of sucked. Just when you think you are on top of things the universe shows up with a challenge and changes the landscape of your life.

I was doing everything I had set out to do… writing every day, enjoying my work and building my business, studying to better my MAT skills, working out, and trying to be a good Dad and boyfriend everyday. But then I get hit with the bad news that my girlfriend has cancer and must first go through an operation to remove it and then treatment, radiation for almost 7 weeks. "Crap! You're kidding, right?"

Now she is fine, "Cancer Free" and except for some of the effects left from the radiation treatment (those suck!), we both have a renewed outlook about life. But I have to tell you, I was angry there for a while. 

I stopped writing, I stopped working out, I felt like I got hit by a truck… and I wasn't the one with cancer. But you sit and watch your best friend go through something like that and it changes you.

How could I write and enjoy my life when the person I love gets hit with such a thing? I tried my best but once she had her surgery and then while she went through her radiation treatments, the only energy I had was for her and to take care of my son. Writing, trying to inspire others and even working or taking care of myself seemed like the last things I wanted to do.

Ultimately, I did what I had to do… and as I ask myself those important 3 questions in past tense I can only come with:
  • When I was doing it!
  • Who I was with!
  • Be in the moment!
So I am back on a streak of writing, albeit 2 days, what comes tomorrow I don't know, but today I write with life looking pretty good as I know I am where I am… If I was supposed to be somewhere else… I would be there. Thankfully with the most wonderful friend a guy could have.

I love you D!

Health and Happiness!


Monday, January 27, 2014

Question Answered!

The conversation goes something like this, while watching a sporting event on TV with a good friend.

My Friend: Dude you need to get back on the horse and start writing!

Me: But what is there to say?

My Friend: What is there to say?!?! What isn't there to say? Everyone has something to say out there!

Me: Exactly! What am I going to say that is any different? There are so many experts out there… You really think people are going to take the time to listen to one more?

Just then on the TV we hear the voice of Robin Williams and turn our heads to listen to him say…
"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. 

To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" 

Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"

Question Answered!

It is good to be back.

Health and Happiness!